“Dear Rachel, what is your advice for someone struggling to balance their social life with uni work? I’m going into third year and now that my assessments will go towards my final grade, I’m worried that this year will be a big change. This is particularly as I’ve been able to prioritise my social life for the past two years.”
We’re both in the same boat with this. The Scottish university system is a blessing and a curse. While it’s fantastic for making friends and settling in, it’s a nightmare when it’s time to start worrying about work-life balance.
I’ve found giving yourself a more structured week to be helpful. This includes setting aside certain days and times where you go to the Library and, rather than consuming an empire biscuit or two then walking out the door, actually sitting down and giving yourself time to start thinking about those essays. In theory, this is easy to do. In reality, it’s a lot harder to maintain, especially if you’re a professional procrastinator like me.
To make studying more interesting, try out different locations to do work. If I only have an hour between lectures, I rarely use this time trekking through the many levels of the Library in search of a seat – nevermind trying to find an elusive plug socket. Instead, I might nip into the Fraser Building for a change of scenery. There are lots of study spaces that are much less well-known and therefore more peaceful, like the Bridie Library.
Lastly, be realistic about scheduling. If you’re a Sports Wednesday lover, don’t give yourself a Thursday to do some last-minute exam preparation. It’s completely fine to take a morning off to recover from a pounding head. Ultimately, you have to find a schedule that works for you.
“Dear Rachel, I’m going into second year in September and I’m moving in with a group of girls. I’m worried because they’re all close with each other but I don’t know them very well. I struggled to make good friends in first year and I’m scared that I won’t be able to breach that gap with them either. What can I do to help with this?”
Moving in with anyone for the first time is mildly terrifying. Even if you’re best friends, committing to living with someone, in the very close quarters of a tenement flat, is a big jump. I promise that what you’re feeling is something almost every Fresher has felt before.
Remind yourself that they invited you to live with them for a reason. If they didn’t want to be friends with you, they never would’ve offered! Let yourself be excited about potentially making some new close friends. You also know them, and that in itself is much easier than moving in with complete strangers.
Once you’ve moved in, try to say “yes” to everything possible. The price of community is inconvenience, sometimes you have to put up with going out when you don’t feel like it so that you can build friendships. Also, try to offer up ideas yourself. This might seem nerve wracking, especially if they’re a friend group already, but I’m sure they’ll be grateful if you offered.
Above all, just take every day as it comes. You can’t know the future and there’s no point worrying about what hasn’t happened yet. The likely chance is that living together will make you much, much closer. Sure, there’s a small chance that you might end up drifting from them, but that’s ok. If they’re your people, you’ll have a great time sharing a flat with them.
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