As a queer woman, I often find it easy to steer away from doing the work to engage with my queer roots. As sentiments online surface about the importance of “doing your research” as a part of an expectation placed on your queer identity, I roll my eyes for many reasons. Existing as queer is passively natural before it becomes actively worked on, to be able to discover and explore your sexuality is a beautiful experience. Due to the suppression that is often encouraged by society, it can feel liberating to freely navigate and express something that was always naturally a part of you.
To kiss before you read, crush before you dissect, feel before you study your feelings is what I call beautiful. I often feel grateful for my first queer experiences, knowing that it could never be anything but right. I was lucky because that emotional and physical freedom is still being criticised and condemned in many parts of society.
I believe, perhaps controversially, that to expect someone to discover a part of themselves and immediately study it is a robbery. I would even go as far as to say it hinders our fight against oppression, it treats queerness as a diagnosis. Where did it come from? When was it discovered? Who was the first person to write about it? These questions may be important but to me they are not a necessity. They are necessary for liberation, but they have nothing to do with personal identity. Love is so natural that nobody cares who wrote the first love song, why would you? It almost seems silly to question something that is so inherently human. It’s a part of people that cannot really be scientifically explained- rather it can be celebrated and related to. Fighting for visibility and equality may require research, but to live starts with knowing that you never need to question something that’s normal.
When I see a video of a teenager coming out, I think, “I can’t wait for them to fall in love.” I don’t want them to study it, not just yet. I want them to feel and accept that feeling. Once they do that, they’ll understand why it’s worth protecting.
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